My Life, His Story...

Greetings from Uganda! It is hard to believe I am on the final leg of this time in Africa. I will be returning to Charlotte in one week and when I try to reflect on all that has happened over the past 3 1/2 months, it is difficult to focus on one event or place, but to jump from one incredible moment to another. Spending this special time in Burundi, DR Congo, Rwanda and Uganda has been filled with many challenges, hurdles, surprises, beauty, heartache and joy. I truly stand in awe of God’s plan and the magnitude of this opportunity, and especially in the fact that just a few short years ago this desire was not a part of my conscious state of mind.

Through this more difficult journey, I have been shown the faithfulness and greatness of God. I know there are probably many of you who cannot grasp (or maybe don’t want to right now) but question and maybe even reject what I am saying. But, living day to day following Jesus has taken me places I never dreamt of going. Life has been so much bigger over the past several years than what I ever imagined I personally would be doing in this lifetime. I give all thanks and praise to God for giving me the strength to follow and to continue. I just pray I will have the courage and steadfastness to stay obedient and faithful...and patient!

I am not sure what the next steps will be, and honestly it is not an easy place to stand. It goes against all I was brought up to believe. However, I put all trust in God to provide a clear direction and to open the doors that He sees fit for me to walk through. I thank each one of you for the support and encouragement you have shown over the past year and I look forward to sharing more as my faith walk continues. A friend gave me a rock that says, “My Life, His Story”, which has been incredibly touching to me. We have a choice whether we live for ourselves or if we live for what truly matters, something much greater. Thank you for listening as I have tried to process and continue to process these unknown steps in my life. Thank you for sharing this journey with me.

“Praise the Lord, all you nations; extol him, all you peoples.

For great is his love toward us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever.

Praise the Lord.” ~ Psalm 117

Wholeheartedly giving...

I believe one of the reasons I was suppose to spend time in Goma, DR Congo was to learn a great deal from a man named Theophile. He is the Pastoral Ministries Coordinator for ALARM-Congo and has unknowingly taught me a great deal over the last 10 days I have spent with him. To firsthand witness and be touched by his faithful desire to serve others leaves me longing to have the same character trait but knowing I fall way short. Not only does he wholeheartedly give in every aspect of his life, but it is a generous giving that comes naturally, it is not a decision of his mind but a drive from his heart. The sacrifices he makes, out of the way actions he takes and the smile that just radiates on his face truly amazes me. This is something that has not only impacted me but encourages me to be a better person. In reflection I see my shortcomings, yet it provides a desire and motivation to give to others like he has given to me. Why is it so easy for some yet so difficult for others?

I am very thankful for having this special time to spend with Theophile. His gracious nature, his inner light that radiates outwardly and his beyond measure thoughtfulness has been a gift to experience. I long to have this type of impact on others and will try my hardest to strive to be the wonderful servant of God that Theophile is without even trying!

“Blessed is the man

who does not walk in the counsel

of the wicked

or stand in the way of the sinners

or sit in the seat of mockers.

But his delight is in the law of the Lord,

and on his law he meditates

day and night.”

~ Psalms 1:1-2

My heart was instantly touched...

After suffering from a fever 2 nights ago and sleeping all day yesterday, God answered prayer and I woke up feeling much, much better...Praise God! We had a big day planned to head to Kibumba, which is a town about 30 km. north of Goma. Meanwhile, I have been told Goma only has about 50 miles of paved roads and is one of the 2 largest countries in Africa. Needless to say, the drive was long, bumpy, exciting and interesting. Again, Praising God for feeling much better because I am not sure how the trip would have gone if the circumstances would have been different.

After heading toward the “active” volcano, which sits just north of Goma, I was a little concerned. Isn’t it active?! Then, we started to head around the right side of it... Yes, I know it is active on the opposite side, but if we are now traveling around it we are eventually going to hit the side that is active, right?! Obviously, no worries because no one else seemed to mind! I felt like a “new be”...definitely not from here and have much to learn. No need to be afraid of an active volcano, it is only active on the other side... :)

Arriving in Kibumba, we were greeted by about 15 pastors who ALARM has helped re-acclimate to life outside IDP Camps. We walked into the most quaint and humble church I have seen. My heart was instantly touched and I stood in awe. At the other side, one of the walls had collapsed 2 days prior to our visit by an earthquake. It had fallen while people were inside, yet no one was injured. While we were there, we dispersed clothes to each of the pastors (one coat, two shirts and one pair of slacks each) and they were thrilled. After sharing a soda, I had the opportunity to pray for them before leaving. What an honor! As we drove away I was humbled by the distance some of these men had walked to come for the visit. They were there waiting for us and it probably took their entire day. What I saw in these individuals was a kind of patience, commitment, honor and integrity that is not easy to come by, but much to be admired.

Driving back to the town of Kibumba we passed a truck that was carrying potatoes. As we passed my mouth dropped open as I asked Jaspard, who was driving, to stop and back up. Everyone else in the car was wondering what in the world I was doing. As we reversed, I was pointing at the driver of the truck and told everyone else in the car that he was wearing my hometown NFL jersey...YES, in a very rural off the beaten path road was a truck driver wearing a Carolina Panther’s Jersey! A special little gift from home...

“I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.

With me are riches and honor, enduring wealth and prosperity.”

~ Proverbs 8:17-18

Blessed with JOY...

Friday was a wonderful day blessed with JOY! The prior week came with many challenging times, but God answered with a very special day I will always remember. It started with sitting in the ALARM-Congo office working on the internet and spending time reading the Bible. While I was reading and writing, an African choir sang in the distance. The beat of the drums made my heart fill with the love of the land. There is something about the heartbeat of the land in Africa that makes your soul sing. It is not abnormal or rare to hear choirs sing joyfully and sporadically throughout the area which is an aspect of Africa that I wish the US would replicate. Hearing people praise at random hours, wherever they might choose to gather and with whoever chooses to join is just wonderful.

After this terrific morning, we headed out to the ALARM-Congo property that is going to be the site for their Reconciliation Center. I visited this site last January, so it was definitely a treat to see the progress. When we arrived, I was filled with joy! The first building is almost complete and it is a beautiful chapel/conference hall. We sat around talking, laughing and sharing lunch as a family. Then, we finished our time by singing Blessed Assurance, a song which always touches my heart. Standing there and thinking about the future and how this building is going to share the Gospel with so many people to come is amazing. God is good and gives us wonderful moments that are meant to be cherished. This was one of those very special moments. To think that the prior week had been so difficult and the enemy was doing everything in its power to keep me from coming to Congo, I was blessed with a day filled with joy.

We then traveled to a plot of land Marie-Jeanne (Country Director) plans to build on in the future. We had to walk about 15 minutes to the plot of land on a tiny trail over the lava rocks. Yes, no cars permitted because there was no road. It was wonderful to be walking amongst people’s homes and to see firsthand people’s lives here in Goma. I was able to interact with the women and children, who were either working in their gardens or tending to their children. Amazed at how these individuals have adapted their lives around the devastation of the lava flow. They have built homes on top of the lava, with lava rocks, and have also planted gardens amidst the lava...incredible. I was told that lava actually carries a lot of nutrients in turn making the soil very fertile and great for crops. Amazing how a time of immense devastation can blossom with its own set of benefits.

After causing much laughter with the children, some being very skeptical of the muzungu (white person), others being daring and actually shaking my hand, we continued our venture for the day. For the next several hours the day increased insurmountable as we visited each of the staff members’ home. This was incredibly touching and heartfelt! For each of them to open their homes and invite in a person they barely know is a way of them reaching out and embracing me. My heart was singing with joy. This was such a special time and I am so grateful to each of them for being so loving and open. I am feeling incredibly blessed by the warm welcome in DR Congo and am honored to be here. This is truly a special family!

“Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

~Nehemiah 8:10

Denied Entry...

Over the past 24 hours, many wonderful yet not so wonderful things have happened. After arriving in Kigali, Rwanda, I was told by the ALARM-Rwanda team that they would be driving me to the Rwanda/Congo border. Being hand delivered was awesome news and a great provision God provided unexpectedly! I had understood I would be taking a bus to the border, which I had given/released to God many times throughout the past month! Meanwhile, if you are not familiar with the buses in Africa, then you should know that they drive much faster then should ever be advised or allowed, and they make people jump and cars veer for safety as they pass. This was definitely a worry of mine, but a situation I was putting into the Lord’s hands. Needless to say, God provided and I was spared the new (and really unwanted) experience of riding the local bus to the border.

The car ride from Kigali to Goma is one of the most beautiful drives I have ever seen. Traveling throughout the Land of a Thousand Hills is such a special opportunity and the views are absolutely breathtaking. After the 3 hour car ride, we rounded one last curve and saw Lake Kivu in its magnificent beauty and size in the near distance. Knowing that the border was just minutes away made my heart smile.

After spending time in Goma last January, I am familiar with the area but still have much to learn and experience. Never did I imagine I would be back so soon. Once arriving at the border, it still amazes me how taking a few short steps through what I like to call “no man’s land”, the neutral zone between Rwanda and DR Congo (about 50 feet), life changes drastically. Rwanda is a country that is like no other country I have visited in Africa. It is incredibly clean with no trash on the ground, cars drive the speed limit and people live by rules and regulations which provides for a more calm, consistent and safe environment. Life seems to be much more orderly than other countries. However, once you cross the border all things seem to change.

As I was waiting in Rwanda, I saw the ALARM-Congo team approaching with huge smiles and arms wide open! It was so wonderful to see my friends again and to have this opportunity to serve with them once more in their country. After crossing “no man’s land”, the Congelese border control did not have the same embracing welcome I received from the ALARM team. They looked at my visa, which I received from the Congo Embassy in Burundi just days before, and was denied entry. Yes...that was it.

After speaking in length with the border control, we were advised to go to the Immigration Office right inside Goma city limits...yes, we were told to go into DR Congo while leaving my passport at the border yet still being denied entry?! Of course, this did not feel right nor make any sense. Well, it did not settle well with the Immigration Office either. We were sent back to the border, shortly thereafter I was handed my passport (which was a welcome relief), yet told to leave the country immediately.

After returning to Rwanda and making a temporary “home” on the curb of the border control office of Rwanda, Theophile (Pastoral Director for ALARM-Congo) and I placed the situation into God’s hands and believed His will to be done. Meanwhile, the ALARM-Rwanda team had already been gone for a good 1 1/2 hours and were well on their way back to Kigali. They were called and asked to turn around, thinking that I was going to have to return to Kigali with them. The remainder of the ALARM-Congo team waited to speak with the Immigration Director and after quite a while were able to plead my case. Yes, $250 later and almost 6 hours of waiting in Rwanda, just steps from the border, I was allowed entry into DR Congo. God is good and prevailed!

I am humbled and strengthened by the fact that God’s hands orchestrate every moment of our lives. He is always near and is ever so faithful. Believing fully that He was going to provide the right outcome, even though I did not know what that outcome was going to be. I was sad at the thought of coming this far and not be able to spend the next 2 weeks working with my Congelese friends, but I also believed in and prayed for God’s will to be done (whatever that might be). For the Lord to open the doors He wanted open and to close the doors that were not right to walk through. I do not know what this time in DR Congo will entail, however, I do know that it is God’s will for me to be here. He heard the cries and answered. Praise God!

Lastly, we were told that the officer who denied me access was going to be arrested the following morning. This was my second time to enter DR Congo and it was my second time to have a problem. Yes, both times this gentleman was the one who helped me and both times he asked for a bribe. The situation makes me very angry and frustrated, however, on the other hand it makes me very sad because of the prevalent corruption in this area. The Congelese people have to deal with this corruption on a daily basis and there are many who suffer because of the unfair treatment. When will it change?

“The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet.

The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you.”

~ Romans 16:20

Where am I suppose to be...

I am over here in a country and land that is unfamiliar and unknown. I am feeling numb. My passion is dry, my fire is barely flickering and I am so confused. I have just heard my sweet dog, Tahoe, is acting out and not doing well at home. I want to run home and be with her, be in my comfort zone, be somewhere I have a normal life, have a job, have a social life, have friends and family close by, be able to exercise, walk outside, go running, drive a car, speak the same language, have a soft bed and comfy sheets...ugh. I am struggling and do not know which way is up or down. What is God’s purpose for me being here? What does the future hold? Where am I suppose to be and what am I suppose to be doing? I feel like I have lost all passion. That living day by day is almost like living in survival mode. Am I going to be able to survive? What is the right step? Which direction do I head? Where am I suppose to be?

Prayer Request:

Please pray that God turns Tahoe's uneasiness into complete peace and she becomes adjusted and settled for the next few months until I return. Pray for Marie and Mike Moore as they try to figure out the next steps to help Tahoe and that God will provide the perfect place for her to feel at ease. Please pray that God gives me clarity, direction and wisdom as to where He wants me and that He provides the strength and peace to continue on the path He has planned.

"Don't be afraid, just believe."

~ Mark 5:36

Taking it to the Cross...

This has been a wonderful week serving in Muyinga, Burundi with ALARM and Watermark Church from Dallas, Texas. After greeting the team around 1 am. on Sunday morning, as they arrived in Bujumbura blurred eyed, the Lord was already revealing Himself. Everyone was in great spirits and excited for the coming week in Muyinga, a small town in northeastern Burundi, located about 10 km. from Tanzania. This area is currently saturated with witchcraft and idol worshipping. Needless to say, a great opportunity to share and touch the people of this province.

Over the past week, I have learned a great deal from this dedicated group of 12 individuals from a different area in the US. It is wonderful to see that no matter where we are in the world or where we are from, Christians are committing their time and energy to serve in the Lord’s name, giving their lives to serve Christ and share His Word and Truth, realizing and embracing the need and desire to share the Gospel in all parts of the world and in turn experiencing God work and transform lives in the process.

In Muyinga, two different conferences were being held at the same time; A Women’s Conference consisting of 46 women and a Pastoral Conference consisting of 60 men. This was a unique and encouraging week because the Burundian women attending the Women’s Conference seemed much more educated and knowledgable about the Bible. They were interactive from the first afternoon and were trusting of the American team visiting. Eager to learn more, the women were open to sharing personal stories and being vulnerable to one another, a unique opportunity and experience.

One of the highlights of the week happened at the end of the second day when the women received a Post-it Note and were asked to write down the name of an individual they needed to forgive. They were asked to take it to the Cross, which was drawn on a board in the front of the room. Not knowing whether this would be received well by the attendees, we were in awe of their participation and desire to give and receive forgiveness. As they rushed the Cross, it was as if they could not release their burden fast enough. While some acted quick, others contemplated this big step with deep thought. They did not take the decision lightly and when they finally went to the Cross you could see the pain along with the relief. The burden had been lifted and they were ready to move forward. This moment will remain in my memory as a permit imprint.

As tears of happiness filled my eyes, while my heart also felt the longing to forgive and ask forgiveness within my own life, I witnessed Christ’s work in each of our lives. It still amazes me how each day brings a new understanding of the love of our great Lord. He is continuously working within each of us.

“Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

~ Matthew 11:28-30

Forgiving Others...

This past weekend, I went with Deo (ALARM-Burundi Country Director) and Prosper (ALARM-Burundi Emerging Youth Leader) upcountry to Gitega for the weekend. We were scheduled to hold a Youth Conference at a local school and I had no expectations as to what the time would hold. When we reached Gitega, which is the second largest town in Burundi, the landscape was just beautiful. The air was cooler, the grass was greener and it was so quiet and peaceful.

The next day we headed to the school and were greeted by many smiling faces. The students had decorated the walkway with flower arrangements, which is a sign they use to welcome visitors...it was just beautiful. When we walked in the students were singing and praising the Lord they love. Instantly, you could feel the love in the room.

As Deo and Prosper taught over the next 2 days, the students (approximately 200) were completely soaking up ever bit of information. They were longing for more teaching and were hungry for the Word and Truth. While staring intently at the speaker, they wrote down as much as possible to capture and remember every bit of knowledge shared.

The hardest topic to cover was Forgiveness. How can they forgive someone that has treated them so wrong? Who have killed their family members and destroyed their homes. Who have left them orphans and alone in this world. They questioned and they struggled with this concept, but by the end of the 2-day training they learned that if they do not forgive then they are harming themselves more than the other person. They understand now that this is a fundamental step in living a life with Jesus. That ultimately holding bitterness and unhappiness inside is a burden that we were not meant to carry. Forgiving others, even when they have done you wrong, lifts the burden and weight off you and allows you the opportunity to move forward in God’s intended peace and happiness.

At the end of the conference, many of the students stood up to share their new thoughts and soon to follow actions. The testimonies shared revealed they were ready to forgive their wrong-doer(s) and they were actually excited and ready to embrace their new future. They understood the monumental importance of this action in their personal hearts and minds, and now realize it is an action that will release them from bondage. This is going to be a hard step for each of them, but one that will allow them to move into a new life filled with great hope and new beginnings.

“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have

against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

~ Colossians 3:13

“Be kind and compassionate to one another,

forgive each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

~ Ephesians 4:32

Choosing each day...

Living in a world of unknowns is exciting and leads to many unexpected and great experiences, however, it can be wearisome, isolating, exhausting and down right hard. Over the past few days, I have been consumed with a mind that is fighting against itself...not fun. It truly has felt like a battlefield within my own thoughts, a mental war that I am conscious of but not sure how to stop. I am completely grateful for this amazing opportunity but am also experiencing firsthand the hard times that come from living out of a suitcase in a foreign land. The enemy was attacking, in turn placing a lot of doubt. What am I doing here...What is the purpose...Should I be here...?

After several days of struggling, I realized how much I was focusing inward...on me...my needs...my problems...my longings. Wow, I was so off track. The realization that I should be focusing outward and not inward was the problem. To bring the focus back to God who has brought me here, the One who pulled all of the pieces together to make this opportunity happen, the One who would not change the direction in mid-step is the One that I need to be focusing on each and every step.

It is way too easy to become self-consumed, self-focused and imprisoned in that mind frame. God wants us to live and serve in a joyful manner. He wants us to be happy and prosper! Why is it so hard at times to live and rest in that truth? We have the opportunity of choosing each day if we will wallow in our own perceived suffering and hardships, or be open and accepting of where God leads us and places us. So far, I have found His path far superior to anything I could ever create on my own. Even through the hard times, life is so much more rewarding when we are giving versus receiving. Therefore, I have made a decision to wake up each morning and offer my life to Jesus and ask Him to guide. Where that leads I am not sure, but this choice provides an incredible peace that outweighs the tough times.

“In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said,

‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ”

~ Acts 20:35

I Saw What I Saw...

I realized last night when a good friend sent the funniest email (thank you Jenny!) that it has been a long time since I have had a good laugh. This email was about growing up in a different era and all of the changes that come along with the changes of time. We always heard our parents telling these stories about how hard their life was growing up and how much easier we have it now. Walking uphill for miles to school (both ways!) while it is snowing outside...barefoot.

Well, we are now in that place where we are looking at the new generation and thinking the same thing...who would have thought?! Cell phones, computers, internet, Wii versus the bag phone you used on “special occasions” only, the word processor, no call waiting and the line would just ring busy, etc. While reading the email I started laughing out loud. I mean one of those laughs that comes from the inside and shakes your whole body. It was awesome! So, my realization was how little I have been laughing, I mean the good bend over, holding your stomach, tears coming to your eyes, belly laugh. I have missed laughing!!

Another friend sent a You Tube video of a song by Sara Groves (thank you Chris!), “I Saw What I Saw.” This is a song that was written to display Sara’s feelings while visiting Rwanda. Yes, the pictures and words are all too familiar. Some of her wonderful lyrics that stood out to me are...”Your pain has changed me, your dream inspires. Your face a memory, your hope a fire.” This captures the presence of being in the Great Lakes Region. There is so much poverty, hardship, suffering and these images are everywhere. The true reality of the presence of death is so very great. Truly little children are walking miles, barefoot to bring home small amounts of water for survival. I mean little children...children that would not be allowed more than 10 feet from their parents for fear of safety in the States. These children are walking along main roads where the cars drive fast and reckless.

So, after realizing I am living in this states of being, where I am surrounded with incredible hardship, the need for humor and uplifting moments is so very important. Life without laughter is not a good way to live. There are times to be serious and times of great reflection and realization, however, it is also wonderful to be silly, light-hearted, over joyful and rolling with laughter. It seems harder here to make this a part of everyday life, but the effects of a smile and the internal light that shines with it is very powerful. It helps change darkness to light. “I saw what I saw and I can’t forget it...”

“...in spite of severe suffering, you welcomed the message

with the joy given by the Holy Spirit.”

~ 1 Thessalonians 1:6

“Be joyful always, pray continually;

give thanks in all circumstances,

for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

~ 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Sara Groves, "I Saw What I Saw"

Things are nice, but...

To be home for Thanksgiving and Christmas was just wonderful! It was a time of great thanksgiving and gratitude for all we have, all were are continually given and most importantly what is so dear and all-consuming of my heart is how great the birth of Jesus Christ was and is for us. This was an extra special holiday because of the opportunity to experience Christmas is a whole new light. We are so incredibly blessed and privileged. Even when life is hard, we usually have enough to eat, clean water to drink and a warm place to sleep. Yes, we are blessed, and blessed, and blessed some more!

What I did realize is that with these blessings also comes a responsibility...we need to share the wealth. We are not more deserving. Why we are where we are with what we have, I still do not understand. Other than we carry a heavier burden with the luxuries. It is so easy to get off track and put our hopes and dreams into things, when these things become a huge distraction and start to consume our lives. How wonderful would it be if everyone was able to live a comfortable life? I have actually realized that living with less stuff has lifted a weight off my shoulders. Yes, the things are nice and wonderful to have, but when I had them I was still missing something. There was an internal void, a light that was flickering on the inside that wanted to shine bright but was being smothered by things and the need for more things.

God has given us the opportunity to have a blessed and fortunate life. It has been life changing to realize that that does come with a cost. It is choice to keep these blessings for ourselves or to reach out and share them with a neighbor that is in need. We are all the same, oneness in God, and one is not more deserving than the next. Whether it is through giving time, resources or most importantly love...in our nation or overseas...it will make a difference in someone’s life and in yours also!

“then make my joy complete by being like-minded,

having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit,

but in humility consider others better than yourselves.”

~ Philippians 2:2-3

God IS that BIG...

Please forgive me for being out of touch over the last few months. After returning from Africa in mid-November, I was in a land of unknown and felt like I was caught between two different worlds. And in hindsight I was... Life in Africa is very different from the United States and to be honest I was foggy in the mind while trying to re-acclimate to a land that I call home yet felt so unfamiliar with. My thoughts and feeling were changing each hour as I tried to process all I had experienced, therefore, I did not write because I believed my thoughts to be too scattered to make sense. Looking back, I am sorry I just stopped but if I had put into writing what I was feeling it would have been coming from a place of uncertainty and cloudiness.

After spending much time resting and sharing with friends the experiences I had while abroad, God started speaking to my heart again. Yes, I started longing to be back in Africa, feeling that my time in Africa was not yet finished. This was a feeling that was not as strong or clear as the first time, but it was an unexplainable nudge that just would not leave my heart and mind. This was a new experience for me because when the opportunity presented itself to come over previously, it was a very clear direction without any question. God had opened the doors and I felt certain I was suppose to walk through them.

This time was different in the fact that it was not as clear, or God was not speaking as loud, which tested my walk in regards to faith versus sight. After realizing that He would not always make Himself or the direction crystal clear, and at times I would be called to take steps when there is not always a clear direction other than moving toward the open doors God has put in my path. After committing my life and future back into His hands and praying for His guidance to open the doors He wanted me to move through and to close the doors He did not, once again He had the opportunity to reveal Himself in a very BIG way!

Low and behold, God brought everything together in His record timing and I left within 4 days of finding out that the doors were indeed open. Yes, the great provisions God provided for this return to Africa has given me the blessed assurance that this is His will. I will say taking these steps has allowed Him to reveal His greatness in mighty ways. I know if I would not have been willing to take these next steps, then I would have prevented God from showing Himself in such BIG ways! I realized I am the one who prevents Him from working in my life in an audacious way. I am the hurdle. God is that big and will give us the strength and courage to follow Him if we are willing!

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge him,

and he will make your paths straight.”

~ Proverbs 3:5-6

He Goes On Ahead...

Streams in the Desert ~ January 14th Devotional

Written by L.B. Cowman

“When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them.” ~ John 10:4

This is intensely difficult work for Him and us - it is difficult for us to go, but equally difficult for Him to cause us pain. Yet it must be done. It would not be in our best interest to always remain in one happy and comfortable location. Therefore He moves us forward. The shepherd leaves the fold so the sheep will move on to the vitalizing mountain slopes. In the same way, laborers must be driven out into the harvest, or else the golden grain would spoil.

But take heart! It could never be better to stay once He determines otherwise; if the loving hand of our Lord moves us forward, it must be best. Forward, in His name, to green pastures, quiet waters, and mountain heights! (See Psalm 23:2) “He goes on ahead of [us].” So whatever awaits us is encountered first by Him, and the eye of faith can always discern His majestic presence out in front. When His presence cannot be seen, it is dangerous to move ahead. Comfort your heart with the fact that the Savior has Himself experienced all trials He asks you to endure; He would not ask you to pass through them unless He was sure that the paths were not too difficult or strenuous for you.

This is the blessed life - not anxious to see far down the road nor overly concerned about the next step, not eager to choose the path nor weighted down with the heavy responsibilities of the future, but quietly following the Shepherd, one step at a time.

The oriental shepherd always walked ahead of his sheep. He was always out in front. Any attack upon the sheep had to take him into account first. Now God is out in front. He is in our tomorrows, and it is tomorrow that fills people with fear. Yet God is already there. All the tomorrows of our life have to pass through Him before that can get to us. F.B. Meyer

God is in every tomorrow, Therefore I live for today,

Certain of finding at sunrise, Guidance and strength for my way;

Power for each moment of weakness, Hope for each moment of pain,

Comfort for every sorrow, Sunshine and joy after rain.

This devotional was given to me by a dear friend on our mission trip to DR Congo in January 2010. The team was getting ready to return to the States and I was continuing on to another location in eastern Congo. It was a very last minute decision to meet Dr. Celestin Musekura with ALARM in Goma, Congo and spend an additional week with the organization in order to learn more about their mission and focus for serving in East Africa. This was the beginning of the wonderful opportunity to serve with ALARM and my faith walk in Africa.

While in Beni, I was still uncertain as to how I was going to travel from Beni to Butembo (2 hour drive in eastern Congo) in order to catch my flight to Goma. I was trusting in God to provide, which was being pushed to the final hour. It was Friday morning when Kasey gave me this devotional to read. The team was leaving the next morning and I was to stay on in Beni for 2 additional nights (not yet knowing where I would be staying) and then traveling to Butembo for the flight (which was still undecided as to how I would be traveling there). Eastern Congo is known for conflict and being an unstable environment. Needless to say, I was walking in faith but time was getting very limited. I was beginning to feel a bit anxious and concerned, and that is when this devotional was given to me...perfect timing! Yes, He goes on ahead of us!!!

After reading this devotional and releasing some suppressed emotion, I came full circle back to how BIG our God is. I found security and peace in these words and the verse John 10:4. After breakfast, we as a group headed to the American missionaries‘ home (a group of 7 individuals serving at UCBC - the Bilingual Christian University in Beni, Congo). We had planned to take a pleasant and scenic walk through the bush to the University. This would be our last visit to the University on this trip. While at their home, the missionaries on the ground offered me a place to stay the 2 extra nights I would be in Beni. Yes, a safe haven to rest before the next portion of the trip. Later, I see that having had this time to spend with the missionaries was a part of the bigger plan. For they conveyed their feelings, the ups and downs, the hardships and rewards, the sacrifices and the benefits. I was able to get a good feel for life on the field, a first-hand experience for what might be waiting ahead. Preparation for the future in a very subtle and unplanned manner.

Just a few hours later when we had reached the University for our final visit, a Congolese man serving with UCBC came up to me and out of the clear blue asked how I was getting to Butembo. Telling him I did not know and could he put me in contact with a driver, he then offered to personally escort me on the 2 hour drive to make sure the travel was smooth and safe. Yes, all provisions were covered and in a manner that far exceeded my expectations. Much bigger and better than I could have asked for or imagined!

I am still learning to not put restrictions around the enormity of God’s work and power. At times, I know I still put Him in a box, then I am shown His greatness. Each time learning and realizing more and more how Great He Is!!! This is a devotional that continues to encourage me to move forward, trust in the Lord and have faith that He goes before us! It is so very true and provides me so much comfort and peace!!! I hope it does for you too! Baraka!

Trying Times...

It has been a few weeks since I have written, mainly due to the fact that I have not known how to put into words the hard time I have been experiencing. I have tried to sort it out in my mind; the reason for the struggle, why times are tough now and not before, how to carry on when I have little energy or desire and feeling like everything going through my mind is the opposite of how I want to be viewing circumstances, people, behaviors and issues. Ugh...is the best way to put it. This time has not been easy and I have definitely been confronted head on with the hardships of leaving a familiar environment, family and friends, comforts of all kinds and a much easier life. Yes, it is tough and the smooth road I was experiencing for about 3 months became much harder.

After returning from Uganda, I was completely exhausted; mentally, emotionally and physically. I did not realize the need for rest at that point and continued on when I should have taken time off. I have realized my love for field work (being hands-on), but I have also realized it is work that is incredibly taxing and difficult. The rewards are countless while the personal impact is undeniable. Maybe there will come a time when one adjusts to the ups and downs of the realities you are faced with and are able to cope better. Needless to say, rest is needed and time to process the experiences is a must.

However, there was no rest and after a few short days in the office I had the wonderful opportunity to meet the Forest Hill team in Bujumbura, Burundi. Yes, God’s perfect timing! To see familiar faces and get many hugs, smiles, lots of laughter and goodies from home was just wonderful. After being nervous that I was not in a strong place to provide the kind of energy and enthusiasm to the team that I would have liked, I realized that what I thought I needed to be for them was not God’s plan. The team turned out to be an incredible support to me and an encouragement that came at the perfect time. Each of the members were like little angels sent from Heaven to help provide strength and support to continue this walk. Their love, compassion, kindness and humility was incredible to witness and be a part of. God is faithful and provided, at the right moment, a big blessing from home in the form of 18 wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ.

There were so many precious moments during the week, but to see each team persevere and embrace times when they were tested with unforeseen hurdles, adapt to the unfamiliarities of everything and in the end rejoice about the curveballs that seemed to be numerous was just awesome! To see God work in and through each person in different ways and through different circumstances, truly all glory goes to Him. Nothing and no one could have fit the pieces together and have them fall into place the way each moment came together for the 4 individual team and the group as a whole. Personally, my most special time was hearing Pastor David Chadwick teach the local pastors at the Pastoral Leadership Training Institute (PLTI). It felt like such a blessing and privilege to have the time to just sit and listen...and of course, the subjects taught just happened to be exactly what I needed to hear.

Another extra special time was the ground-breaking ceremony for the new David Chadwick Reconciliation Center in Bujumbura. The pastors from the PLTI were there and to hear them sing, worship and praise the Lord for what is to come was incredibly moving. Their gratitude for the center, the joyful smiles on their faces and the praise in their voices brought home the importance of this center to their community. To know that the donations Forest Hill Church received during the Christmas Eve Service last year will change the lives of so many in the future, is watching first-hand the fruit of the Lord multiply. It really reinforces that not matter how small you feel like you are contributing and possibly wondering if it makes a difference, when we work together and combine our efforts, the way God expands and multiplies our “givings” is astounding.

As I left the team in the Nairobi airport, I did not feel homesick or a longing to return to the US with them. I knew in my heart that my time is not finished here. I still do not have clarity as to the direction and where God plans for me to be in the future, but I am now experiencing both sides of the spectrum as to how living in Africa has its ups and downs. Life has been very difficult over the past several weeks and it is still a struggle, but I also know that God is with me and is using these trials for His overall purpose. I am trying once again to embrace each moment instead of resisting and even at times rejecting. Yes, it is a very different way of life here and the adjustments required are endless.

“But those who hope in the Lord

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.”

~ Isaiah 40:31