Choosing each day...

Living in a world of unknowns is exciting and leads to many unexpected and great experiences, however, it can be wearisome, isolating, exhausting and down right hard. Over the past few days, I have been consumed with a mind that is fighting against itself...not fun. It truly has felt like a battlefield within my own thoughts, a mental war that I am conscious of but not sure how to stop. I am completely grateful for this amazing opportunity but am also experiencing firsthand the hard times that come from living out of a suitcase in a foreign land. The enemy was attacking, in turn placing a lot of doubt. What am I doing here...What is the purpose...Should I be here...?

After several days of struggling, I realized how much I was focusing inward...on me...my needs...my problems...my longings. Wow, I was so off track. The realization that I should be focusing outward and not inward was the problem. To bring the focus back to God who has brought me here, the One who pulled all of the pieces together to make this opportunity happen, the One who would not change the direction in mid-step is the One that I need to be focusing on each and every step.

It is way too easy to become self-consumed, self-focused and imprisoned in that mind frame. God wants us to live and serve in a joyful manner. He wants us to be happy and prosper! Why is it so hard at times to live and rest in that truth? We have the opportunity of choosing each day if we will wallow in our own perceived suffering and hardships, or be open and accepting of where God leads us and places us. So far, I have found His path far superior to anything I could ever create on my own. Even through the hard times, life is so much more rewarding when we are giving versus receiving. Therefore, I have made a decision to wake up each morning and offer my life to Jesus and ask Him to guide. Where that leads I am not sure, but this choice provides an incredible peace that outweighs the tough times.

“In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said,

‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ”

~ Acts 20:35