He Goes On Ahead...

Streams in the Desert ~ January 14th Devotional

Written by L.B. Cowman

“When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them.” ~ John 10:4

This is intensely difficult work for Him and us - it is difficult for us to go, but equally difficult for Him to cause us pain. Yet it must be done. It would not be in our best interest to always remain in one happy and comfortable location. Therefore He moves us forward. The shepherd leaves the fold so the sheep will move on to the vitalizing mountain slopes. In the same way, laborers must be driven out into the harvest, or else the golden grain would spoil.

But take heart! It could never be better to stay once He determines otherwise; if the loving hand of our Lord moves us forward, it must be best. Forward, in His name, to green pastures, quiet waters, and mountain heights! (See Psalm 23:2) “He goes on ahead of [us].” So whatever awaits us is encountered first by Him, and the eye of faith can always discern His majestic presence out in front. When His presence cannot be seen, it is dangerous to move ahead. Comfort your heart with the fact that the Savior has Himself experienced all trials He asks you to endure; He would not ask you to pass through them unless He was sure that the paths were not too difficult or strenuous for you.

This is the blessed life - not anxious to see far down the road nor overly concerned about the next step, not eager to choose the path nor weighted down with the heavy responsibilities of the future, but quietly following the Shepherd, one step at a time.

The oriental shepherd always walked ahead of his sheep. He was always out in front. Any attack upon the sheep had to take him into account first. Now God is out in front. He is in our tomorrows, and it is tomorrow that fills people with fear. Yet God is already there. All the tomorrows of our life have to pass through Him before that can get to us. F.B. Meyer

God is in every tomorrow, Therefore I live for today,

Certain of finding at sunrise, Guidance and strength for my way;

Power for each moment of weakness, Hope for each moment of pain,

Comfort for every sorrow, Sunshine and joy after rain.

This devotional was given to me by a dear friend on our mission trip to DR Congo in January 2010. The team was getting ready to return to the States and I was continuing on to another location in eastern Congo. It was a very last minute decision to meet Dr. Celestin Musekura with ALARM in Goma, Congo and spend an additional week with the organization in order to learn more about their mission and focus for serving in East Africa. This was the beginning of the wonderful opportunity to serve with ALARM and my faith walk in Africa.

While in Beni, I was still uncertain as to how I was going to travel from Beni to Butembo (2 hour drive in eastern Congo) in order to catch my flight to Goma. I was trusting in God to provide, which was being pushed to the final hour. It was Friday morning when Kasey gave me this devotional to read. The team was leaving the next morning and I was to stay on in Beni for 2 additional nights (not yet knowing where I would be staying) and then traveling to Butembo for the flight (which was still undecided as to how I would be traveling there). Eastern Congo is known for conflict and being an unstable environment. Needless to say, I was walking in faith but time was getting very limited. I was beginning to feel a bit anxious and concerned, and that is when this devotional was given to me...perfect timing! Yes, He goes on ahead of us!!!

After reading this devotional and releasing some suppressed emotion, I came full circle back to how BIG our God is. I found security and peace in these words and the verse John 10:4. After breakfast, we as a group headed to the American missionaries‘ home (a group of 7 individuals serving at UCBC - the Bilingual Christian University in Beni, Congo). We had planned to take a pleasant and scenic walk through the bush to the University. This would be our last visit to the University on this trip. While at their home, the missionaries on the ground offered me a place to stay the 2 extra nights I would be in Beni. Yes, a safe haven to rest before the next portion of the trip. Later, I see that having had this time to spend with the missionaries was a part of the bigger plan. For they conveyed their feelings, the ups and downs, the hardships and rewards, the sacrifices and the benefits. I was able to get a good feel for life on the field, a first-hand experience for what might be waiting ahead. Preparation for the future in a very subtle and unplanned manner.

Just a few hours later when we had reached the University for our final visit, a Congolese man serving with UCBC came up to me and out of the clear blue asked how I was getting to Butembo. Telling him I did not know and could he put me in contact with a driver, he then offered to personally escort me on the 2 hour drive to make sure the travel was smooth and safe. Yes, all provisions were covered and in a manner that far exceeded my expectations. Much bigger and better than I could have asked for or imagined!

I am still learning to not put restrictions around the enormity of God’s work and power. At times, I know I still put Him in a box, then I am shown His greatness. Each time learning and realizing more and more how Great He Is!!! This is a devotional that continues to encourage me to move forward, trust in the Lord and have faith that He goes before us! It is so very true and provides me so much comfort and peace!!! I hope it does for you too! Baraka!

Trying Times...

It has been a few weeks since I have written, mainly due to the fact that I have not known how to put into words the hard time I have been experiencing. I have tried to sort it out in my mind; the reason for the struggle, why times are tough now and not before, how to carry on when I have little energy or desire and feeling like everything going through my mind is the opposite of how I want to be viewing circumstances, people, behaviors and issues. Ugh...is the best way to put it. This time has not been easy and I have definitely been confronted head on with the hardships of leaving a familiar environment, family and friends, comforts of all kinds and a much easier life. Yes, it is tough and the smooth road I was experiencing for about 3 months became much harder.

After returning from Uganda, I was completely exhausted; mentally, emotionally and physically. I did not realize the need for rest at that point and continued on when I should have taken time off. I have realized my love for field work (being hands-on), but I have also realized it is work that is incredibly taxing and difficult. The rewards are countless while the personal impact is undeniable. Maybe there will come a time when one adjusts to the ups and downs of the realities you are faced with and are able to cope better. Needless to say, rest is needed and time to process the experiences is a must.

However, there was no rest and after a few short days in the office I had the wonderful opportunity to meet the Forest Hill team in Bujumbura, Burundi. Yes, God’s perfect timing! To see familiar faces and get many hugs, smiles, lots of laughter and goodies from home was just wonderful. After being nervous that I was not in a strong place to provide the kind of energy and enthusiasm to the team that I would have liked, I realized that what I thought I needed to be for them was not God’s plan. The team turned out to be an incredible support to me and an encouragement that came at the perfect time. Each of the members were like little angels sent from Heaven to help provide strength and support to continue this walk. Their love, compassion, kindness and humility was incredible to witness and be a part of. God is faithful and provided, at the right moment, a big blessing from home in the form of 18 wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ.

There were so many precious moments during the week, but to see each team persevere and embrace times when they were tested with unforeseen hurdles, adapt to the unfamiliarities of everything and in the end rejoice about the curveballs that seemed to be numerous was just awesome! To see God work in and through each person in different ways and through different circumstances, truly all glory goes to Him. Nothing and no one could have fit the pieces together and have them fall into place the way each moment came together for the 4 individual team and the group as a whole. Personally, my most special time was hearing Pastor David Chadwick teach the local pastors at the Pastoral Leadership Training Institute (PLTI). It felt like such a blessing and privilege to have the time to just sit and listen...and of course, the subjects taught just happened to be exactly what I needed to hear.

Another extra special time was the ground-breaking ceremony for the new David Chadwick Reconciliation Center in Bujumbura. The pastors from the PLTI were there and to hear them sing, worship and praise the Lord for what is to come was incredibly moving. Their gratitude for the center, the joyful smiles on their faces and the praise in their voices brought home the importance of this center to their community. To know that the donations Forest Hill Church received during the Christmas Eve Service last year will change the lives of so many in the future, is watching first-hand the fruit of the Lord multiply. It really reinforces that not matter how small you feel like you are contributing and possibly wondering if it makes a difference, when we work together and combine our efforts, the way God expands and multiplies our “givings” is astounding.

As I left the team in the Nairobi airport, I did not feel homesick or a longing to return to the US with them. I knew in my heart that my time is not finished here. I still do not have clarity as to the direction and where God plans for me to be in the future, but I am now experiencing both sides of the spectrum as to how living in Africa has its ups and downs. Life has been very difficult over the past several weeks and it is still a struggle, but I also know that God is with me and is using these trials for His overall purpose. I am trying once again to embrace each moment instead of resisting and even at times rejecting. Yes, it is a very different way of life here and the adjustments required are endless.

“But those who hope in the Lord

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.”

~ Isaiah 40:31

Anything but strong...

Over the past few days I have been struggling to stay strong, and have realized that maybe that is just what I should not be doing...staying strong all the time. The time here has been great but very trying also. The distance of being away from home, away from family and friends, away from a strong support system, away from the little luxuries of a much easier life, have really been weighing heavy on my mind. I am missing all of these things...greatly. A lot of the emotion I have held inside and blocked from expressing, so I could keep going, is now pouring out. Yesterday on the flight to Burundi, I was super teary. I believe I have not allowed myself to feel the negative part of moving away from everything familiar. I have embraced all of the unfamiliar things with a positive attitude and joyful outlook...and I have realized this only lasts so long. Yes, this has been a wonderful experience, yet a hard road to travel, and right now I am feeling anything but strong. I am having to really put my last bit of strength in the Lord and His will on my life...it is not easy and I am learning, again, it is a moment by moment choice.

“For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord,

‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you hope and a future.”

~ Jeremiah 29:11

Hearts Crying Out...

PART 1

After being in Nairobi for many weeks, feeling somewhat settled and adjusted to life, I started having the longing to get back out into the field. While the desire to serve in Africa has been growing on my heart over the past several years, I always thought I would be out in more rural areas interacting on a day to day basis with the people. So, when I arrived in Nairobi and was faced with a strong work load in the office, I had to adapt to the need. This took me to a place of realizing and accepting that where God has me is not necessarily where I envisioned I would be. So, after submitting and embracing my role in the office and giving God the reins once again to do as He sees fit in my life, low and behold He answered my longing to be in the field. Literally, the following morning after accepting this is where I am and this is where I am suppose to be, He provided a wonderful opportunity to travel to Uganda and visit ALARM’s Women and Children Ministries in Kampala and northern Uganda. Yes, He is so very faithful and does answer the desires of our hearts!

So, a week or so later I was on a plane heading to Entebbe, Uganda. I was very excited, yet once again feeling inadequate for what I was about to encounter. The unknown of what was coming next was daunting, yet I longed to be hands-on. Yes, what came next was a wide variety of feelings and emotions, that normally would not be mixed together, but some how fit like a glove.

Once arriving in Uganda, I was greeted by the amazing staff of ALARM. Yes, they are all WONDERFUL!! I learned very quick that they needed to retrieve and track personal data of all the women in their projects. Wow, this seemed like a ton of work for just a few days in several different locations. Again, God has a way of working that ends up making you smile because there is no other way it all could have happened. So, we created a template for reporting the women’s personal information and we were off to meet them face to face.

The Ugandan Bead Ladies (the name I have chosen to give them!) in Kampala were the first group to visit. Yes, 104 women to cover in 1 1/2 days!?! The first 10 women took 4 hours and sent my emotions on a roller coaster ride that I did not quite know how to handle. It was such an amazing feeling being in their company once again after my visit back in July, yet their stories were absolutely heart breaking. Many of the women are HIV Positive because of the horrible physical brutality they received and endured while in the IDP (Internally Displaced Persons) Camps in northern Uganda. How do you continue to take down their personal stories, testimonies and history when all you want to do is put the paperwork down and embrace them with all your strength giving them the biggest, most comforting hug you can manage?... To tell them everything will be okay and their families will be taken care of... That they are wonderful human beings that deserve happiness and love. It was this push and pull feeling where I longed to embrace and love them, yet I was angry at their situation and the hardships they have experienced without a choice. I know God has a purpose for this also, however, it is almost near impossible to understand this when you are in the presence of such heartache and pain. It is almost like the positive and negative feelings I was experiencing they are also experiencing. Even though they have endured really difficult times and the scars run deep in their minds, they also have an inner light and hope for the future. Their perseverance is unbelievable and their desire to survive is so great. So, yes, I shed many tears for these women and pray that their beautiful beads will continue to sell because these beads are providing opportunity and hope in a place where hope was almost lost.

PART 2

Next, we ventured to Gulu in northern Uganda. During our 6 hour car ride, we stopped at a Piggery Project, which was so fun to see. After wanting a pig for a pet while growing up, I have realized now that a potential pet for one person is a life changing animal to someone else. Amazingly, this project is proposed to help 200 women and their families over the next few years and this number will continue to multiply at a fast rate every consecutive year. Wow!!!

Continuing the drive, we came to the Nile...one of the most incredible views I have ever seen. The feeling, the strength, the power was completely engulfing. I knew we were going to cross the Nile on the drive, but had no idea it was going to have this sort of impact on me. Quinto pulled the van over and I was out the door before we came to a stop. It was like this magnetic pull to look closer, to feel the strength, to glimpse at a creation our Father made and used for His glory. I had to take a quick picture because photographs were prohibited in the area, which dates back to the time of the war and continues to be enforced. Once I got back into the van, the emotion started flowing. Tears were literally springing from my eyes and the feeling of Our Lord’s greatness and faithfulness absolutely overwhelmed me. The power of the water was enormous, the power of its history so monumental and the spiritual feeling of this magnitude of greatness was completely unspeakable.

While in Gulu, we interviewed the second bead making group and also the women in a goat rearing group. Once again, the stories were difficult to hear, however, the women were finding much success from selling the beads and their livelihoods have definitely increased after joining the group. They have been able to save monthly (which is required in this group) and have opened additional businesses to expand their source of income. These women are smart, have a BIG drive to be successful and just needed a little help to get started. Living in the displacement camps for so many years, the horrible treatment they encountered and the everlasting impact it will have on their health and lives, is slowly fading into the past and they are seeing a brighter future.

The women who have received the goats are not prospering as well and many are still resorting to digging (which is the same as farming). They mainly dig in other people’s gardens in order to earn a very small amount. This is incredibly tough work and requires a great deal of physical strength. Many are sick (HIV Positive or other illnesses) and are not able to be consistent in their work effort. These women have found great strength, comfort and solidarity within their group and have prospered by having the other members to lean on. The rebels killed many of these women’s families, so the group dynamic has provided a positive family structure that many of these women have been missing. They work together as one unit and help each other during times of need.

PART 3

In the midst of gathering the women’s profiles, we visited two child headed homes. The first visit was absolutely heartbreaking and will never leave my mind. This family of four young children lost both their parents a few years ago. The father was a guard and was killed while on night duty and their mother passed away due to AIDS. They do not have any other family to care for them, so they were left on their own to survive. The oldest son, Sunday, is now 14 years old and is the head of their home. He has kept the family together for the past 2 years and is doing everything possible to protect his siblings; brother Denis is 13 years old, sister Scovia is 9 years old and sister Mercy is 6 years old. Denis has been severely traumatized by the experience and has withdrawn from any interaction. He is just now starting to open up and communicate with others. From what I have been told the two boys would initially cry the entire time you spent with them, unable to control their heartache and pain.

Through much strength and determination, Sunday and Scovia built a new home for themselves because their old home was completely deteriorated. This structure is truly impressive to see knowing how young they were when they built it with their own hands. Sunday is the father figure and Scovia has stepped into the motherly role. She is the one who is outgoing and willing to communicate how the family is truly doing. Their roof leaks, so now that it is rainy season they often are up all night sitting through the rain. Yes, sitting through the entire night with cold rain pouring on them (and pouring rain is putting it lightly when describing and African storm). They do not have a mattress and most supplies they are giving are taken by the neighbors. They are vulnerable and are preyed on by others. The youngest girl only has one shredded skirt and nothing else to wear. They have planted a garden with potatoes and cassava from one hoe, but the garden is not producing well due to the lack of knowledge of the children as how they should tend the garden. Their childhood has been stripped from them and they carry responsibilities that no child at their age should face. They have just recently been found by ALARM and are not yet in the program. The staff on the ground is helping as much as possible even though there are no funds for addition families at this point. When the staff is confronted with these serious situations they sacrifice personally to help...completely humbling.

The second home is a family of four brothers, who have been on their own for 5 years. Patrick, who is 17 years old, is the head of the home. Their father was killed by the rebels and their mother passed away due to AIDS. They are now being mentored by an ALARM volunteer and are being provided basic needs. They have acquired a few more goods in their home, however, they are still in great need. Both of these families were left with their parents’ land, so they have been able to continue living in their homes. The neighbors of this particular family are more supportive and help the children versus harming them. Child headed homes are abundant in northern Uganda because of the devastating impact of the rebels’ killing sprees in the land. Either people were directly killed by the rebels are have passed away due to HIV/AIDS from the numerous rapes and physical abuse. The staff has many volunteers helping mentor these families which is truly a gift from God. All of the help and support others are able to provide is greatly needed and appreciated. The need is huge and the means are small, but God has an incredible way of multiplying so we pray He continues to provide!

PART 4

Lastly, we headed further north to Pader, which is an area severely impacted by the rebels. Many of the children and young adults were captured by the rebels and forced into being child soldiers or were abducted and held for different means (many experienced extreme brutality is different manners). These individuals have mental and emotional scars and have very little trust in others. They have lived a life of great fear and uncertainty, and are now left on their own to survive. ALARM has started a vocational training facility that is currently teaching many of these young adults a skill that will allow them to become self-sustaining and provide hope for their future. After being in the school for roughly 4 months, they have just started smiling and trusting the staff. They are learning bit by bit that the staff truly has their best interest at heart. This is a work in progress and has a long way to go. The vision is huge and hopes to touch hundreds of children impacted by the war over the years to come. God is making huge strides and providing means to prosper individuals who have had no opportunity in the past. The area has entered an era of making new footprints and providing the potential for positive growth and healing. ALARM has realized the need and is answering the calling! Please join me in praying that the staff stays healthy and strong, God provides the means and fruit needed to prosper this area and that the mentality of the community stays positive in their hopes for a better future.

A verse that was shared during the Sunday service at Deliverance Church in Gulu was Lamentations 3:33 ~ “For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men.” Yes, this country’s past has been terrorized by the Rebels and it is going to take many years to recover from the devastating effects, but the Lord is good. Each little bit helps and a saying that keeps coming to my mind is: In order to climb a mountain, one needs to start at a slow and steady pace.

Throughout this trip, I experienced more than I ever imagined I would see or hear. I was confronted firsthand with the harsh reality of other’s hardships, and that the difficult situations I have experienced while in Africa only proceeded to intensify during my time in northern Uganda. The need here is so big and the heartache and suffering is so sever. These people’s hearts are crying out. If this touches anyone and you would like to make a donation to a specific area or program ALARM is sponsoring, please let me know or visit ALARM’s website at www.alarm-inc.org, where you are able to make a donation. Every little bit helps and the need is wide. Sharing the blessings God has provided is extending His kingdom! Mungu akubariki (God bless you)!

“I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire;

he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.”

~ Psalm 40:1-2

The Soft Roar of Prayer...

During the Women’s Conference in Yei, Sudan, we had many wonderful moments but one that has stayed on my mind to share was an experience that happened after our session on How To Pray. As a group, we decided to gather all of the women and split into smaller groups for a special time of prayer. What better way to put into practice what we had just learned then to take time and pray as one body. So, we divided into 7 smaller groups with one team member in each group.

The women absolutely took us by surprise with what took place next. The women of each group started singing in very soft, quite voices. Each group singing a different tune, yet hearing them combined together was just the softest, sweetest sound. Then, their voices started to increase, one by one, and the room increased with volume. They each increased their voices’ strength at their own time and calling. Eventually, the room was filled with a strong, passionate, roar of singing!

Next the women, one by one, dropped out of singing and started praying aloud in a very delicate, peaceful whisper. In time, each of the women moved from singing loudly to praying softly...in their own time...at their own pace. And again, the praying started softly and then increased with volume until the room was filled with this intense volume, strong passion and overwhelming energy for the Lord! The roar of singing had turned into a roar of prayer. The intensity of the prayer was completely engulfing and the room as individuals, yet one body, praised the Lord with all their hearts and souls.

Once again, one by one as the women finished praying, they went back into song. Starting softly and growing in intensity and volume. It is so difficult to explain the chain of events during this prayer time, but one thing I can tell you is we were all incredibly touched and in awe of the Sudanese women and their passion in prayer! They definitely should have been leading us in the session on How To Pray! We have so much to learn from them. They are not shy or self-conscious of how they might be perceived or what others might think of them. They stand out in their faith and rejoice in full volume to their Heavenly Father. What an incredibly powerful, freeing and exhilarating event to witness and experience!

“You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”

~Matthew 5:14-16

Not sure how I am feeling...

I have realized over the past several days that I am not quite sure how I am feeling. In my mind, it feels like I should be a little more uneasy and uncertain of my surroundings. That the adjustment to the new environment should have been more difficult. However, at other times, the fact that everything is so different, and different, AND DIFFERENT is wearisome and frustrating. The length of time it takes to go anywhere or do anything is unbelievable, in turn, taking a great deal of patience and/or a completely different state of mind to grasp. So, I have opted for doing the best I am able to and embrace the moment and the culture. It is very trying at times, but an amazing experience none-the-less. I know it is completely God’s grace that is helping me to feel comfortable, safe, openminded and accepting of the differences I encounter on a minute by minute basis. It is not all smooth sailing, and there have been and still are some very trying times, but for the most part I am in awe of this opportunity.

I will have to say I have begun to miss the comforts of home. A soft bed, cozy sheets, fluffy comforter, consistent electricity and water, clean air, exercising outside, driving, washing machine and dryer, close friends and family are some of the top “misses”. But, then I look at my living conditions, my ability to go to the store when I need food, the option to call a taxi when I need a ride, a wonderful church in walking distance and I am ashamed for even thinking about the quote on quote things I lack. It is tough to see the conditions of more than half of the population of Nairobi living in a slum. It is indescribable and devastating. It is hard to understand why some people are so privileged and fortunate and others lack so much. I am realizing this is weighing so heavy on my mind and truly breaks my heart...

As I am writing this I had to take a break to shed a few tears. This is actually helping me release so many of the emotions I have yet to deal with since I have been in Africa. It is almost like I have put on a hard shell to help comprehend the severity of some of the situations I have seen, in a way to help digest and keep going...yet I am still trying to figure out how and when to process all that I am encountering. The one thing I keep relying on and gaining strength from is that God is in control and has me right where He wants me. I keep leaning to Him for the guidance, peace and strength to continue taking steps in a city, culture and continent I am just beginning to learn and understand.

"When I called, you answered me; you made me bold and stouthearted."

~ Psalm 138:3

Women of Faith...

Last Saturday, I had a special opportunity to visit an ALARM micro-finance project in Ngomongo. This is one of the many slums in Nairobi and it is so very hard to put into words the immense and desperate poverty of the area. The wonderful women touched by this project, who call themselves “Women of Faith”, greeted us at the car when we arrived. Each lady paired themselves with one of the visitors as a form of protection as we walked hand in hand through the slum. So, with Lucy’s hand in mine, I experienced this new level of poverty I have never witnessed before.

While walking through the alleys, it was difficult to comprehend how the residents are living with the absolute bare minimum: sewage in the alleys and the smell infiltrating the air, standing water where insects bred and diseases spread, no clean water, very little food and tiny, dilapidated homes. The conditions cannot be described in words. While visiting, we were invited into a home where a mother and 8 children live, cook, eat, sleep, etc. all in a space as big (or as small depending on how you view it) as the size of some of the walk-in closets in the US. They move their one table out of the way at night and lay a mattress on the floor for sleeping. Even though it seemed like very little to us as we took in the surroundings, the better than average condition of her home was revealed on her face. She stood with strength and confidence and a sense of gratitude for what she had acquired. The loan, her new business and the bond her and the other women have created has shined a light into her life. She shared with us that not only is she able to better provide for her family, but she is now able to send her children to school. She was excited to have us visit and the women as a whole were overjoyed and welcomed us to their community.

After visiting one of the woman’s tailoring shop, which is a small wood structure with a metal roof and 2 sowing tables, we walked to their church where we heard several of the women’s testimonies. Hearing firsthand how this small loan has had such a tremendous impact on their lives was uplifting, eye-opening and truly humbling. The group started with 15 women and has increased to 35 women over the past few years. They meet once a week for bible study and fellowship, along with a business meeting to hold one another accountable. They have united as a family and long to see one another succeed, in turn, supporting and encouraging one another through their personal hardships and struggles. They lean on each other and have found a sense of self-worth they did not have prior to starting their business. One lady shared that this was the first time she had ever voted (she is now 46 years old). She had always felt worthless and insignificant, never bothering to get an identification card, but now she is empowered and knows that she is an individual of much importance. She has realized that she does have a voice and deserves the same rights as other individuals. This increased sense of self-worth has been felt among all of the women and has given them the confidence, desire and drive to make a better life for themselves and their families.

I have seen firsthand, how this particular micro-finance project has truly changed the lives and mentality of these special women. During our time in their church, the women did not once complain about their situation nor say anything negative about their living conditions. They were incredibly humble and thankful for the opportunity that they have been provided. Toward the end of the gathering, they did voice their one desire...and that was their need for Bibles. This absolutely took my breath away! I was amazed by their heartfelt desire to learn more of the Lord’s word. Out of all things they need, what they are currently living without and the hardships they encounter on a daily basis, to hear their biggest desire is to have access to God’s word was just incredible. These women hunger to know more about God and have come to realize He does provide. Each time a woman spoke she praised God and gave thanks and praise to the One who is the maker of all! Women of Faith is a perfectly chosen name for these women who day by day are living and growing in their faith. No matter the hardships, they are persevering.

“Trust in him at all times, O people;

pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.”

~ Psalm 62:8

Following His Lead...

The experiences have been numerous and greater than I ever could have fathomed. Even though I am still trying to figure out my place here in Africa, I am at peace with where I am. There is no doubt in my mind that this move was the right step to take. When the times are trying and the uncertainty is so great, there is only one thing to fall back on and that is my faith and belief that I am right where I am suppose to be. Some moments have been tough, but God has a way of stepping in at the right time to provide the comfort and reassurance that He is in control.

My “spur of the moment” adventure to Masai Mara this past weekend really reiterated God’s greatness and the incredible magnitude of His creation. It is difficult to put into words the different landscapes, terrain, wildlife, climates and picturesque settings that combined together create the Mara Valley. I was in complete awe of each view and the enormity of the detail which is truly indescribable. This special place, in the midst of the heart of Kenya, is a vast sanctuary of God’s breathtaking creation. To feel so small in the center of this massive, perfectly orchestrated, serene setting was truly humbling. His greatness is positively overwhelming!

I never imagined I would have an experience like this past weekend. Taking a safari has never been a big desire of mine, especially after being in Africa and experiencing so many other aspects of the continent. Learning the different cultures, being hands-on with the people and various tribes, sharing the word of the gospel just seemed more on the forefront of what was in my mind. After having a difficult day last week, trying to acclimate and adjust to everything in my life being so vastly different, I was presented with an opportunity to visit Masai Mara. Little did I know that this was exactly what I needed to ground me, once again, in God’s greatness. I realized it is not about us and what we do here on Earth, it is about us allowing God to work in and through us for His glory. Sometimes that means being very patient and still, other times that means stepping forward and stepping out sometimes into an unknown space. The most important thing is that we actually surrender ourselves to the will of God and allow Him to take the reins. Then, all we have to do is follow His lead.

“O Lord, you are our Father.

We are the clay, you are the potter;

we are all the work of your hand.”

~ Isaiah 64:8

You Raise Me Up...

The Lord always has a way of speaking to us in the most strange and unexpected ways. In turn, helping us to realize He is always with us during every moment of every day. I would love to share a little gift that happened in the first few moments I was in Nairobi, Kenya, but first let me give a brief rundown of what I have been doing over the past several weeks.

As many of you know, upon arriving in Africa I was a part of two separate mission teams with ALARM and Forest Hill Church. The first week we were in Rwamagana, Rwanda at the IWE School (ALARM's Institute of Women's Excellence) collecting information for the sponsorship program from the students who are mostly orphans of either the genocide or HIV/AIDS. Then, the second week we traveled to Yei, Sudan where we held a 3 day Women's Conference for regional leaders. Both experiences were marked with African women, men and children overjoyed to see and spend time with us, an authentic and endearing greeting in both countries expressed by native singing and dancing that would bring tears to anyone's eyes, and the bonding, building of friendships and memories that will last a lifetime for each of us.

When the Sudan team headed to the airport (without me) after our short stay in Uganda, I was left wondering what I was getting ready to embark on in this unfamiliar land. Little did I know I was heading to another area of Uganda for an intimate 2 day meeting to discuss a ground-breaking, new initiative focused on empowering transformation, peace and unity to specific countries in Central and Eastern Africa. It was incredible to be in the midst of such huge visionaries. The opportunity to be a part of this meeting was an incredible blessing and opened my mind to the enormous magnitude of passion and drive special individuals have for serving here in Africa. The small, yet significant group of individuals I spent time with are a huge, continuous source of inspiration.

After being on the road for a little over 2 weeks and carrying around 3 huge bags of my belongings, I was ready to get to Nairobi and settle in to my new place. I was exhausted yet refreshed and re-energized from the time spent in Uganda. However, little did I know I was getting ready to have a "moment" with the lady at the visa/customs counter. When I walked up to the visa counter I was quizzed on the length of my stay. The visa lady kept saying "oh, it is so long...oh, it is such a long time...oh, too long". Here I was thinking to myself, "alright enough already!" Then, I heard a very quite sound coming from the desk behind her. I looked and noticed her cell phone and asked her if she was playing a song. She reached back, still giving me a stern look and being a little reluctant to release my visa, and brought her phone toward the front of the desk. The song sounded familiar and I asked her if it was playing You Raise Me Up. At that moment, she turned the volume up, nodded her head and started singing, then I joined her and started singing also. I was in complete awe because this had been such a special song to me over the past few weeks filling me with strength and security in the Lord. I would listen to it each night before going to bed in both Rwanda and Sudan. I told her it was my favorite song and she said it was her favorite song also. I started crying (while singing) and she did also! We were both singing, crying and laughing, and singing and crying while smiling from ear to ear. Then, she looked me in the eyes and said, "I will never forget you", and I said the same back meaning ever word I spoke.

I walked away from the customs counter knowing that God had sent me this special moment, this incredible blessing, to reassure me that I am right where I am suppose to be and that I just need to continue to walk in faith. God was saying, "Welcome, you are going to be okay, I am with you."

Taking these steps into the unknown (especially not knowing what the big picture looks like) has been very challenging, but these extra-special, God moments help keep me moving forward. The biggest challenge is taking the steps when we do not know where or what we are stepping into, however, that is when the biggest blessings and most special and wonderful moments are revealed. They come when we are least expecting them, which makes them all the more special!

"You raise me up to more than I can be..."

Letting go of our blankets...

This is something special I read the other evening and it has stayed on my heart to share...

"As a generation, we have been taught to hold on to our blankets - to take charge of our lives and secure our future even at the expense of those around us. But we fail to realize that the security of our future rests not in our blankets, but in Jesus sitting next to us. When we choose to give instead of keep, we discover a little taste of heaven on earth. When we choose to let go of what little we have and surrender it to God, then we receive the bounty of His kingdom."

~ Eric and Leslie Ludy

Just the beginning...

Dear Family and Friends,

I hope each and every one of you are doing terrific and ready for the summer. The past few years have brought much change to many people and I would love to share with you the change that has been happening in my life. I will say, when I started real estate close to 10 years ago, I never thought I would be making a move like this 10 years later...

As many of you know, God has been moving, shaping, redirecting and changing the course of my life in a fairly large way. During this special time, He has brought me to a place where I am excited and enthusiastic to follow His lead, guidance and direction. I have felt in my heart for several years that the course of my life was shifting and I was being called to serve the Lord overseas. Once I felt enough strength in the Lord to fully surrender and follow, He has shown me that He will open the doors if we are open, ourselves, to walk through them.

By God’s grace, I have been offered an opportunity to work with ALARM, a wonderful African-based, Christian organization in Nairobi, Kenya. ALARM (African Leadership and Reconciliation Ministries) was founded by Celestin Musekura about 6 months after the Rwandan Genocide. Celestin, along with the organization, have found a special place in my heart and I am grateful to have the opportunity to serve with them in Central and Eastern Africa. This is where I feel God is calling me to be and through the doors opening, in faith alone I feel compelled to walk forward.

At points, this has been a difficult decision and transition to say the least. However, the support and encouragement from friends and family has been a blessing. I would love to ask for your continued support through prayer. I do feel God’s provisions are greater than we can ever imagine and He will protect and provide in amazing ways. Having a large group of prayer warriors here in the States will be one of His gifts through you!

In addition, I am in need of financial support for all of my expenses while I am abroad. My timeframe as of now, is to leave with a mission team from Forest Hill on July 4th. After serving in Rwanda and Sudan over a 2 week time period, I will continue on to Nairobi where I will work and be based. My initial stay will be roughly 4 months, then I will return for the holidays and plan to head back for an indefinite period of time at the beginning of the new year. This is in God’s hands, so I am open to change, timing and location. The job opportunity is large, which leaves an ample amount of room for God to determine where and how He wants to use me. This is incredibly exciting and the learning curve is going to be immense. I am ecstatic to get my feet on African soil and see what lies ahead. If you feel called to provide financially, I would greatly appreciate your commitment to help. Please make all donations payable to Forest Hill Church (memo line: Ashley Hackney - ALARM). The address is 7224 Park Road, Charlotte, NC 28210, or I would be happy to swing by and deliver the contribution by hand.

I look forward to hopefully seeing most of you before I leave. For the ones I am not able to visit, please know I would love to hear what is going on in your life. With only a few weeks left in town, I hope to see as many of you as possible!

Much love and Many blessings,

Ashley Hackney

“For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” ~ Ephesians 2:10