I Saw What I Saw...

I realized last night when a good friend sent the funniest email (thank you Jenny!) that it has been a long time since I have had a good laugh. This email was about growing up in a different era and all of the changes that come along with the changes of time. We always heard our parents telling these stories about how hard their life was growing up and how much easier we have it now. Walking uphill for miles to school (both ways!) while it is snowing outside...barefoot.

Well, we are now in that place where we are looking at the new generation and thinking the same thing...who would have thought?! Cell phones, computers, internet, Wii versus the bag phone you used on “special occasions” only, the word processor, no call waiting and the line would just ring busy, etc. While reading the email I started laughing out loud. I mean one of those laughs that comes from the inside and shakes your whole body. It was awesome! So, my realization was how little I have been laughing, I mean the good bend over, holding your stomach, tears coming to your eyes, belly laugh. I have missed laughing!!

Another friend sent a You Tube video of a song by Sara Groves (thank you Chris!), “I Saw What I Saw.” This is a song that was written to display Sara’s feelings while visiting Rwanda. Yes, the pictures and words are all too familiar. Some of her wonderful lyrics that stood out to me are...”Your pain has changed me, your dream inspires. Your face a memory, your hope a fire.” This captures the presence of being in the Great Lakes Region. There is so much poverty, hardship, suffering and these images are everywhere. The true reality of the presence of death is so very great. Truly little children are walking miles, barefoot to bring home small amounts of water for survival. I mean little children...children that would not be allowed more than 10 feet from their parents for fear of safety in the States. These children are walking along main roads where the cars drive fast and reckless.

So, after realizing I am living in this states of being, where I am surrounded with incredible hardship, the need for humor and uplifting moments is so very important. Life without laughter is not a good way to live. There are times to be serious and times of great reflection and realization, however, it is also wonderful to be silly, light-hearted, over joyful and rolling with laughter. It seems harder here to make this a part of everyday life, but the effects of a smile and the internal light that shines with it is very powerful. It helps change darkness to light. “I saw what I saw and I can’t forget it...”

“...in spite of severe suffering, you welcomed the message

with the joy given by the Holy Spirit.”

~ 1 Thessalonians 1:6

“Be joyful always, pray continually;

give thanks in all circumstances,

for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

~ 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Sara Groves, "I Saw What I Saw"

Things are nice, but...

To be home for Thanksgiving and Christmas was just wonderful! It was a time of great thanksgiving and gratitude for all we have, all were are continually given and most importantly what is so dear and all-consuming of my heart is how great the birth of Jesus Christ was and is for us. This was an extra special holiday because of the opportunity to experience Christmas is a whole new light. We are so incredibly blessed and privileged. Even when life is hard, we usually have enough to eat, clean water to drink and a warm place to sleep. Yes, we are blessed, and blessed, and blessed some more!

What I did realize is that with these blessings also comes a responsibility...we need to share the wealth. We are not more deserving. Why we are where we are with what we have, I still do not understand. Other than we carry a heavier burden with the luxuries. It is so easy to get off track and put our hopes and dreams into things, when these things become a huge distraction and start to consume our lives. How wonderful would it be if everyone was able to live a comfortable life? I have actually realized that living with less stuff has lifted a weight off my shoulders. Yes, the things are nice and wonderful to have, but when I had them I was still missing something. There was an internal void, a light that was flickering on the inside that wanted to shine bright but was being smothered by things and the need for more things.

God has given us the opportunity to have a blessed and fortunate life. It has been life changing to realize that that does come with a cost. It is choice to keep these blessings for ourselves or to reach out and share them with a neighbor that is in need. We are all the same, oneness in God, and one is not more deserving than the next. Whether it is through giving time, resources or most importantly love...in our nation or overseas...it will make a difference in someone’s life and in yours also!

“then make my joy complete by being like-minded,

having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit,

but in humility consider others better than yourselves.”

~ Philippians 2:2-3

God IS that BIG...

Please forgive me for being out of touch over the last few months. After returning from Africa in mid-November, I was in a land of unknown and felt like I was caught between two different worlds. And in hindsight I was... Life in Africa is very different from the United States and to be honest I was foggy in the mind while trying to re-acclimate to a land that I call home yet felt so unfamiliar with. My thoughts and feeling were changing each hour as I tried to process all I had experienced, therefore, I did not write because I believed my thoughts to be too scattered to make sense. Looking back, I am sorry I just stopped but if I had put into writing what I was feeling it would have been coming from a place of uncertainty and cloudiness.

After spending much time resting and sharing with friends the experiences I had while abroad, God started speaking to my heart again. Yes, I started longing to be back in Africa, feeling that my time in Africa was not yet finished. This was a feeling that was not as strong or clear as the first time, but it was an unexplainable nudge that just would not leave my heart and mind. This was a new experience for me because when the opportunity presented itself to come over previously, it was a very clear direction without any question. God had opened the doors and I felt certain I was suppose to walk through them.

This time was different in the fact that it was not as clear, or God was not speaking as loud, which tested my walk in regards to faith versus sight. After realizing that He would not always make Himself or the direction crystal clear, and at times I would be called to take steps when there is not always a clear direction other than moving toward the open doors God has put in my path. After committing my life and future back into His hands and praying for His guidance to open the doors He wanted me to move through and to close the doors He did not, once again He had the opportunity to reveal Himself in a very BIG way!

Low and behold, God brought everything together in His record timing and I left within 4 days of finding out that the doors were indeed open. Yes, the great provisions God provided for this return to Africa has given me the blessed assurance that this is His will. I will say taking these steps has allowed Him to reveal His greatness in mighty ways. I know if I would not have been willing to take these next steps, then I would have prevented God from showing Himself in such BIG ways! I realized I am the one who prevents Him from working in my life in an audacious way. I am the hurdle. God is that big and will give us the strength and courage to follow Him if we are willing!

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge him,

and he will make your paths straight.”

~ Proverbs 3:5-6